What matters most to you [at this time]. Essentialism. Core Values. Decluttering. Balance.
Our recent and regular themes here. All connected in the aspiration of improving our Lives, becoming more resilient and Self-aware in the process while finding the most possible enjoyment and positive impact from it.
Whether we have internal struggles or simply look at the state of the world currently, we may all feel to various degrees, that improvement is welcome. And imperative.
Whenever you don't feel inclined to invest time and energy into practising reflection and integration, but stay in your routine, the following notions may help inspire you to go beyond and value the potential of changing up your patterns.
You probably know most of these citations. The magic lies in the application.
"Everything begins with an idea." [Earl Nightingale]
"Follow effective action with quiet reflection. From the quiet reflection will come even more effective action." [Peter Drucker]
"Reality is created by the mind, we can change our reality by changing our mind." [Plato]
"What you do makes a difference, and you have to decide what kind of difference you want to make." [Jane Goodall]
"The world as we have created it is a process of our thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our thinking." [Albert Einstein]
“We can change the world and make it a better place. It is in your hands to make a difference.” [Nelson Mandela]
"The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do." [Steve Jobs]
“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.” [Rumi]
In the span of over two thousand years main learnings, due to our shared human nature, seem very much alike as well as complementary. Such as comprehending the ripple effect of inside-out change and the power of individual responsibility combined with Self-efficacy in the larger planetary context.
Getting out of our forcing-doing mode and transcending it by attending to optimising our mindset, attitude, habits and lifestyle, bring rewards in the long-term.
Let us see today how we can not only improve our thinking, but find balance across all (yet known) layers of human experience: mental-emotional-physical-spiritual.
***
The highlighted Self-reflection questions can aid your unique, independent insights.
Enjoy the fruits of your investment into increasing Self-/Awareness.
Navigation
Part 1
Part 2
The toll of imbalance
Your Personal Growth as a Leader
mapping out the process - optimised compass
We work a lot with the Mind. The place of creation. Also the place where thoughts can get entangled and overcomplicated. However, once more consciously steered, their transformational power improves the ways we live.
The Mind has its limitations. So has the Body.
We can work on expanding these limits as best we can, as long as we see benefit from that process for our quality of Life.
We shall entertain simultaneously the concept of Yin-Yang.
In its most plain interpretation meant here: practical matters of work, creation, exercise and a variety of rest, recharge, relaxation, rejuvenation habits fairly balanced across all four planes, mental-emotional-physical-spiritual.
Intuition and Flow, the emotional and spiritual layers are least about control and more about understanding. A humble learning process there.
Requires practice to connect and stay connected, even or especially when we go through tougher times. When we seek concrete results in the outer world and feel like battling with our inner world at the same time. When expectations make us forget Gratitude, temporarily.
That internal battling can often show up in unhelpful thought patterns which stress us out emotionally and physically, but do not bring useful solutions.
Noticing when we are out of balance is a key turning point. Becoming aware allows space for different choices.
When on any of the planes, mental, emotional, physical or spiritual, or a combination of them, we feel worn out, we can learn to identify the signs for faster, better future detection.
The choice to pause, reflect and take stock of what is undesirable and what is helpful for our progress, is an investment. Into increasing our quality of Life.
Investing into understanding the more subtle layers of our humanity will show benefits for our Life – the practical application of optimised choices will take form in better habits.
How we habitually think and act shapes our everydays.
The benefits of optimising are often felt at times right away, other times we learn to recognise these progressively.
Which in turn can open our Mind to new fields of perception in the human experience.
Our wisdom unfolds as we learn to tap into all layers and attempt to master all four, for a most holistic experience of Life.
As an exercise/new habit, I-perspective questions as direct gateway to your Self-reflection.
Your attention akin to a pendulum, play, focus it on all four areas throughout the day depending on where you most need a mindful check-in, which can be like:
How do I feel right now? How am I physically?
What emotions are dominant? Where are my thoughts focused?
What correlation can I spot between my thoughts and my emotional state?
What can I accept for now as is, what thought can I release or change for the better?
From any pressure I feel how much is tied to concrete or imagined external expectations and how much is fuelled by my own worries and doubts?
Which ones do I feel and accept as justified and fair? Which ones not?
How much of the pressure do I feel is a healthy eustress that my inner drive to achieve my goals fuels?
Once distinguished, which of the unhelpful stress sources do I want to practice letting go of?
Which inner drivers make me feel energised and empowered? How can I double down on those?
How connected am I feeling spiritually/intuitively?
How much alignment is there between my Heart and Mind?
You can consider being your best friend (a concept advocated for by many teachers of the conscious Personal Growth path), with or without adhering to habits of your chosen religion or spiritual direction, or a combination of all. Tailor the practice to your needs.
What matters most to you [at this time]. Essentialism. Core Values. Decluttering. Balance.
Once again you can relate your reflection points to these major perspectives:
What does truly matter to me in Life overall and in my current season of it?
What is right now essential to my Well-Being, my intentions and greater goals?
What is best aligned with my Core Values and which current circumstances do not reflect them truthfully?
What thoughts, emotions, habits, physical stuff do I want to declutter, because it doesn't serve well (any more)?
How can achieve more balance as I'm transitioning into a lifestyle that contains mostly things I really want to do, people I really want to be connected with, places I really want to be in?
How can I contribute to all these via my choices now?
Practising helps for an increased Awareness become a natural part of our days.
When we would focus too much on one area and neglect another, it would be felt in a drop in the level of our overall Well-Being.
Successful balancing of the human experience layers will call for a center space within we can safely fall back to, in any time of extremes. Even if we build similar habits around maintaining it, that Center will be individually unique.
Know thyself. A delphic maxim which in our individual interpretations can also mean: take care of yourself, have Compassion for yourself, as your Journey transpires find peace in the feeling that though things may be ever changing and evolving, there is a core aspect of Self that feels eternal. Get to know that. Learn to distinguish it from anything that isn't aligned.
Why it may feel that way? Answers can be found when we look at the idea that we perceive Time always in and as the Present Moment. Being always in the eternal Now.
When we pendle out of balance into the Past or the Future, allowing worries and doubts related to either to cloud our Minds and strain our inner reserves beyond any real use and value, our Inner Peace can deteriorate.
Awareness of our mental-emotional state helps catch this development and offers the choice to steer it towards a healthy Balance once again. Towards the Present Moment in which we can evaluate our choices and make the ones we perceive as best at the time.
The spiritual aspects of Self-discovery will be very unique and specific to each of us.
An intimate knowledge that we may even feel a little uncomfortable to explore within ourselves, not talking about it to anyone.
Some of us don't feel ready yet to connect to the word "spiritual" and its connotations. We can try with calling it Mind-Heart coherence. The Analytical Mind may be less guarded if we take into account that the Heart has its own neural network.
Life-shaking events, a personal breaking point, tend to create an atmosphere where we feel compelled or forced, or both, to look at these aspects in all our vulnerability and start following those internal questions on a path, leading to an unfolding of Self-discovery. Embracing the entire human experience with all its layers. In whatever proportion and timing suits best individually.
Intuition is a form of our natural human intelligence. Based on a short definition, it is our ability to understand/know something, without the need for, or rather bypassing, conscious/analytical reasoning. It is also described as unconscious pattern-recognition. Responses from our "brain" in the Heart to external events.
When we are overly analytical and would only keep the measurable in our field of observation, through that we are suppressing a large part of our abilities and potential. A limitation of Self. Not advantageous when we choose to embark on a Self-actualization and Self-transcendence* path.
We have multiple dimensions of how we can perceive the world as well as express ourselves in it.
That Brain-Heart-Gut connection shows too, how interconnected our intelligence is already in its physical form. We have an information highway connecting them: the vagus nerve.
All three, also called "the three brains" by some science jargon, contain neurons.
As per current numbers: the brain 86 billion, the Heart 40.000, the gut and stomach 100 million. They process and store information.
We can optimise the decisions we make by utilising all of our "three brains"' repertoire: logic, language, conscious thought, emotions, intuitive, sub-/unconscious, instinctive, Self-preserving and Identity patterns.
It may be a tad uncomfortable for our logic, but is still part of our human condition: our Heart's voice, Intuition, gut feelings, hunches have a valid place in the quality of our decision-making.
You will see the results in your practice, when you are congruent. When you are becoming ever clearer what is aligned with your Vision and Identity and what is not. You harmonise Mind-Heart connection with enhanced inner locus of control.
Self-empowered.
In the words of a resource, Marvin Oka, who is a name in behavioral sciences:
"It [your inner congruence] will show up in compassion from the heart, creativity from the head, and courage from the gut."
Learning the ways to utilise all layers, we tap further into the infinite potential accessible by all.
For Self-reflection you can ask yourself any variation of these questions:
What is my aim with this process?
What benefits do I see for my Life as I learn to tap into all dimensions of human capabilities?
What do I believe about my Life currently? What do I think and how do I feel about it?
What do I allow myself in any dimension of my work, personal life, relationships?
How can I make space for introspection when things feel heavy, complicated, a struggle?
How do I show up not only in my various roles for others, but also for myself?
What does it mean to me to be an inspiring example?
What does it mean to me to live a very fulfilling Life?
Crystallising your reasons for your Purpose, your everyday decisions.
Your answers will be not only as unique as you, but they evolve with you, therefore the practice of Self-reflection shall prove to be most fruitful as a consciously applied frequent habit.
Our beliefs manifest in our behaviour.
As we influence ourselves and others, both limiting and empowering patterns can multiply in our exchanges. There are certain Core Premises that can elevate our viewpoint and engage Growth Mindset further. Others, if they remain unconscious, could keep sabotaging our progression.
Removing the belief that only painful ongoing sacrifice can mean success is an example that holistically successful entrepreneurs reference as a limiting pattern that tends to be both intuitively and logically counterproductive and a distortion of the optimal human experience.
On the other hand believing that we can live a Life of highest quality in all areas, that no area needs to be sacrificed for another and a general belief in ourselves, Self-efficacy, will aid our progress however hard the lessons we are facing are.
We can learn to become aware of Self-imposed limitations. Involving the Heart/Self-compassion not only our Mind, may help a great deal.
Once a learnt pattern is made conscious, we can focus to intentionally dissolve or replace it by an empowering belief instead. On the whole we can declutter not only physical objects that don't serve us any more or habits, but detrimental beliefs as well.
Supportive or at least non-intrusive surroundings can be valuable in this inner work.
This does not always mean that even the closest to us understand what we want in Life and why. No matter how smart the people we connect with, we shall not feel discouraged too much or for too long when we feel not understood or misunderstood.
Most people only believe what they see when it is about other people's dreams and envisioned goals. It can be considered already a great success when we can imagine and plan beyond our own circumstances and think beyond our own limits.
As Leaders, it is our duty to practice embracing and recognising the potential in others. Beyond what meets the eye. To help all who turn to us for guidance learn to recognise it within themselves and thus Self-empower independently. For all to find their path to increased inner locus of control. We shall lead by example.
Reflection points:
Do I believe that I do deserve to live Life in a more effortless manner?
Around an 'obvious yes' what doubts - if any - are floating around in my head?
What physical symptoms go along with emotions that feel great and I want more of?
What physical symptoms go along with emotions that don't feel good and I want to release?
What do I believe about success? What does it mean to me? What emotions do I tie to it?
Am I willing to expand beyond the current frame of my perspective?
Where do I recognise patters of doubt in my Self-worth?
What helps to mend these?
When do I feel most aligned and naturally confident?
Flow is organic part of my work, because it facilitates all of the above. Flow-inducing habits therefore can be a primary choice if you want to upgrade your experience and outcomes.
Allowing your Intuition to unfold its power as an integral part of your inner GPS , seems to be one of those optimal ways we all are looking for.
Next up, in Part 2, we shall be discussing further how we can realise that.
In the meantime I invite you to pick at least a few favourites from the questions above, reword them to how they best resonate with you, and utilise them in form of a regular check-in, so that you can steer your decisions into your desired direction.
Enjoy the revelations and the positive progress.
I bring all my learnings into my shares, reflection exercises, Coaching, so that my personal investments and revelations enrich not only my Life, but through my Work all your Lives too.
To explore the opportunity of working together
Reach out via message or head straight to the Coaching Session preparation form.
See you there! T.
Recommended Resources
The books I regularly recommend, which helped me in my Wayfinding and improvement.
Dr. Joe Dispenza Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself: How to Lose Your Mind and Create a New One
H. García and F. Miralles Ikigai: The Japanese Secret to a Long and Happy Life
Mihály Csíkszentmihályi Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience
Stephen R. Covey The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change
Eckart Tolle The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment
Shad Helmstetter What to Say When You Talk to Your Self
Tim Ferriss The 4-Hour Workweek
Carol Dweck Mindset. Changing the way you think to fulfil your potential. This book is quoted by many others and is one of the most fundamental concept descriptions on Fixed vs. Growth Mindset and how they influence our level of Success.
Greg McKeown Essentialism. The Disciplined Pursuit of Less. About optimal energy investment for highest yield and disciplined thinking as a way of living.
James Clear Atomic Habits
BJ Fogg Tiny Habits
Charles Duhigg The Power of Habit. Why we do what we do in Life and Business. or Why we do what we do and how to change
*See the updated version of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs and other related concepts as examples for that. In this post Main Lessons: What is conscious living? I elaborated on a handful key ones.
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