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Writer's pictureTamara Mihályi

Main Lessons: What is conscious living?



What conscious living means to you, is an individual Journey discovered along the way.

What we attempt today, will be an outlining of certain main elements to help us be more conscious of how we live our Lives. This advancement encompasses increased Awareness and Intentionality.

Levels of Consciousness show up in an abundant variety of blends.

Through Personal Evolution we come to realise when we are growing out of unhealthy, limiting patterns that used to negatively influence our ways of thinking and corresponding behaviour; in addition we learn to validate positive shifts and trends in mindset and attitude which can then be further enhanced.

We won't always see it as clear-cut as the concepts we are viewing today show. They are rather applied to finetune our compass to comprehend human nature, its innate drivers and our own unique nuances.

The aim is to improve Awareness and dominant mental-emotional states overall.

While we are becoming progressively aware of what our present situation is versus the way we truly want to live, we can utilise the knowledge gained here, to make better choices – identifying elements we want to release, optimise or add into our Lives and steer our spaceship towards the lifestyle of highest quality and Leadership impact we are looking to build.

Let's ... jump to warp.



Navigation for segments
Click on titles to read segments of this booklet worth long-form.



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You can read original piece with all the major Lessons these past few years I compiled here:


Growing Awareness

Habitual Self-reflection and conscious language.


Becoming more conscious of how we are programmed.

An increasing level of Awareness allows us to recognise choices, fresh perspectives. Subconscious programming – running since childhood, just like social conditioning – picks up countless patterns, beliefs, filters along the way. Some are harmful, others contribute positively to Well-Being. Some are easier to release, others are deeply anchored core premises in us with a whole body of beliefs tied to them.

Their influence shows up in how we see the world and make decisions.


You can read about the Subconscious in detail also in my earlier published post: Making that 95% of your Mind work for you.

No Journey of Consciousness is taught at school (with possible exceptions), so we need to take energy and attention from our "grown-up" reserves and invest into – utilising elemental principles from psychology, anthropology, spirituality studies – progressively understanding ourselves and accordingly elevate our Quality of Life ourselves.



How do we train and grow Awareness?

These past years I have been consuming heaps of information around this.

Dr. Joe Dispenza's work among them has been instrumental. You may have come across messages similar to his above quote.

The idea presented can speak to our Core Value: Freedom. It can awaken within us a desire to break free from the "cage" of any pre-conditioned patterns and programming of the Mind.


As I synthesise in my work continuously the essence of all my learnings, I also practice what I share. This is one of the most authentic ways I've found to contribute in earnest.

As Leaders, we all can (and shall) aim for that: being the best, authentic example we can be. Growing Self-awareness belongs with the path of Personal Evolution.


Based on overlapping conclusions of research, the following are prime tools for growing Awareness: Self-reflection, Self-talk (including Inner Dialogue and Autosuggestion) using conscious language to Self and others.

We can achieve meaningful positive Change, when we first become aware of what is:

who we are today, what are our dominant mental and emotional states and identify what we want, don't want, prefer less of, prefer more of.


Self-reflection needs to become a habit so that we can unfold this process and see it come to fruition. We learn to appreciate progress as we recognise favourable changes and apply innovative interpretations.


You see it's not rocket science, really.

The effort and complexity comes from our instinctive human nature drivers as well as our reactions rooted in environmental and social conditioning. We practice shedding useless reactivity and damaging thought loops.

The following wording helped deepen my understanding and integration of it:


The unlearning and unbecoming of what we don't want to have and who we don't want to be, can be just as important to realise than who we do want to be and what we do want to have.

How we verbalise these things will make an enormous difference.

An optimised Self-talk that is empowering and expansive will be a great ally, preventing a detrimental inner tone becoming a form of Self-sabotage.

The language you use with yourself and in conversations, reveals the landscape of your mindset.

Even if we drop the ball at times or skip a beat, we can choose to get back on track via our Core Values and Life Vision – our Compass, reminding us what in Life matters most to us.



How can you practically apply these ideas in your everydays?

Our task is basically a sifting and sorting through habitual thoughts, corresponding choices and what we act upon.

Language displays both conscious and subconscious beliefs behind expressions.

I bring three examples how we can work with this.


An effective way can be, experimenting with changing your assumptions.


You can lead an Inner Dialogue :

/applying at the same time the notion of being your own Best Friend


"I feel really stressed out about tomorrow's meeting."

"Why is that?"

"There is a lot at stake for the company's future and the changes I want to initiate have a multitude of implications. I feel that the weight of responsibility is almost entirely on my shoulders and I don't know how I can have the energy to tackle the many objections and different views that will undoubtedly come up, in a compassionate, constructive and balanced way."

"Why am I feeling alone in this task? Did I isolate myself in my decision-making? How can I better cultivate trust and share responsibility? Can I assume that the people on the team will help distribute the weight of responsibility, they chose to be here and their perceived "objections" may be useful to optimise our approach together?"

"I could include them more in my thought process. They may help with fresh perspectives."

"What if I approach the stress and worry around this with exchanging my current assumptions to questions? I can ask these from the team, involve them and nurture curiosity, the willingness to learn, trust and teamwork, instead of wanting to solve everything myself."

Et cetera.


Main aims in this example are, to shift the assumed disempowered attitude and at the same time keep the Mind open for alternatives that can come up, so that we actually notice the opportunities for positive outcomes and not foredoom matters before they had the chance to occur. Relevant preparation without vain pessimism.


Our Mind tries to hang on to known Past experiences (to keep us safe) and through that it tends to limit our perception. Our Imagination on the other hand tends to create phantasy scenarios about other people's intentions, with wild assumptions masquerading as facts to be considered.

We want to practice to be ready to harness the Unknown, rehearse mental resiliency to handle that as best we can and diligently examine what we assume and what is known.


You can also use questions for Self-reflection :

/combined with journaling or free writing, if that works well for you


"What is the meaning I give to certain words, topics, expressions?

What am I identifying with through them?

Which of my inner drivers is triggered? (Refer to Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs.)

What do I need to feel safe?

What do I need to feel confident about this?

How can I adjust my approach so that the task feels more effortless and aligned with my Character?

How can I enhance the language I use so that it reflects that envisioned direction?"


In our Self-talk we shall remember to have a benevolent tone and not lose our sense of humour despite how dire we perceive the situation to be at first. Lightheartedness has strong correlations with our optimal state of Flow.


You can then evaluate your stance through the lens of Identity :

/ I bring my chess player Identity scenario


We have been playing chess with a Family member and I kept losing my games.

I examined what I am identifying with. Did I deduce that I can't play? Could I embrace the phase of learning? Could I assume an Identity becoming better with each game? I practiced catching my assumptions and states when playing. I broke the losing series and won. I noticed that my strategic thinking gets better and so I choose not to focus so much on any disappointment when not winning, but appreciate the sharpened sight at move options.


When we start something new, make a change, when things don't work out the way we planned, we can drift into identifying ourselves with it and beat ourselves up for not doing "well enough" diverting from the envisioned optimal state and goal. (We will talk more about this in the end, in the segment of Life Visioning, how the Vision pulls us forward.)


Improvement comes when we choose to keep returning to identify with what we want to be and have, while valuing the learning journey. Our Confidence organically grows in consequence.

In my example I could have given up and cross it off as a "failed" experience, but because I love the game since I was a kid, it's bonding opportunity with Family, plus a chance to optimise towards my Ideal Self who has a Growth Mindset, is an awesome strategic thinker and plays chess well naturally, I see it as a high value element I like to invest into.


Our time, energy and attention have no equivalent. They are priceless.

We shall carefully choose what is not for us and be very mindful of what we want to persist in.


In the next segment let us explore concepts which can advance us in these endeavours.






Levels of Consciousness

Intentional evaluation and moving towards an empowered creation of ideal lifestyle.


Consciousness has been researched throughout history.

Four concepts from the last century provide excellent basis for study and application:

Barrett's 7 Levels of Consciousness

Hawkins' Consciousness Scale or The Map of Consciousness

Dilts' Logical Levels of Change

Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs


Concepts are human-made, therefore not absolute, but they provide navigation clues we can orientate our definitions and understanding on. They extend context and reference points to our human dynamics.


As Leaders, learning about human nature ought to be one of our essential duties and a lifelong practice. I believe, our impact will be truly meaningful when we invest into this. Benefits unfold in myriad ways in all Life areas.

Elevating our quality of thinking starts with evolving the Self and its expressions – this includes behaviours, the already emphasized usage of conscious language and habits specifically (elaborating on them in the next segments).


Communication is at the Heart of this interconnected planet and Leadership.

Inspiration and Empowerment require a highly conscious, Self-aware and balanced communication style from us in any of our Leadership roles – if we are to impact our surrounding world positively and meaningfully, as part of our Legacy.


We keep working on being the best example we can be.



Points of reflection and applied knowledge.

Hawkins' Consciousness Scale - the Map of Consciousness

Hawkins created a scale of emotions with their corresponding energetic frequency.

In the expanded version the corresponding life views give away how a regularly occupied emotional state can become ingrained so much that it vastly influences our attitude to Life.

At the lower levels it would mean misery, antagonism and the likes, while at the higher levels satisfaction, optimism, harmony.

Emotions contain valuable information for Self-discovery.


Reflect. Gauge. Shift emotional states.

"Which emotional state is most regular in my everydays? Is it close to my ideal?

What do I want it to be? How do I feel now? What thoughts caused how I feel now?"


Since Emotional balance / EQ is key for our Life quality and Leadership, we can utilise Hawkins' Scale as a Self-awareness gauge.

The majority of interpretations of this concept seem to identify Courage as a key stepping stone towards more expanded Consciousness levels. That's the characteristic helping us overcome fears, expand comfort zone, change, dare something new.


Reflect. Learn, don't dwell. Affirm your choices.

"How can I exercise more Courage in my choices?

I choose to draw lessons from my lower level emotional states, while I train myself not to dwell in them, so that I minimise emotional damage for myself and my surroundings. I choose to dwell in higher level, empowering emotional states.

Which activities and ideas produce more of those?"

An increasing Quality of Life and Leadership mean, we look at the internal and external impact of our Personal Evolution. Our internal state and balance will amplify and reflect in our external relationships. We utilise higher degree Awareness to prevent emotions wreaking havoc in interactions and instead harmonize healthy Self-expression.



Barrett's 7 Levels of Consciousness

This concept, very similarly to Maslow's, is about discovering links between your desires, behaviours and common innate human drivers.

Barrett says:

"In order to achieve Full-Spectrum well-being, we must learn to satisfy our deficiency needs, our transformation needs and our growth needs."

Reflect on each area. Current choices and priorities.

Considering everything you read so far, what seems to be crystallising?

Which area works well for you? What could be better?

Which area has most of your energy invested now?

Which one needs ideally more of your attention?

Which one seems to cause most conflict and stress?

What seems to provide highest yield even with minimal investment?

Which area are you focusing on improving currently?


Expand these questions with additional details relevant to you.

After the last segment of Life Visioning, return to these questions and you may find yourself finetuning your choices accordingly.




Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs

His pyramid is probably the most known and referred to in this matter.

You can see how it resonates with Barrett's ideas.


The main gist: recognizing how our needs influence our choices.

Identifying our intrinsic motivations helps getting a good grasp on the root causes of thoughts, emotions, re/actions.


Reflect. Find connections. Adjust.

Which of your needs are not met currently?

How can you improve the satisfaction of them via adjusting thoughts, beliefs, habits?

Can you identify the root causes behind your mental-emotional states, connecting them back to these layers?


The question-explanation game with "Why? Because..." helps peel back layers of reasoning as you repeat them until arriving at the most fundamental root causes, related to the steps of Maslow's pyramid.



Dilts' Logical Levels of Change

The basic idea here: each level directly affects those lower in the hierarchy.

A lower level may, but will not necessarily, change those above.

You can see why we invest energy in this Work into clarifying, comprehending, improving the upper levels in order to initiate substantial positive Life Changes.

Dilts' concept serves to understand yourself, your environment and Change itself to a greater extent. You can raise Self-/Awareness making use of the questions in the pyramid. Explore current perceived issues, successes, root causes, opportunities at each level and recognise at which would alterations be beneficial to evolve holistically.


Find the most resonant approach for your current season of Life. Try out simple applications to establish reflection as well as transformation points for higher quality choices and habits.





Habits and Flow

Habitual decision-making. Core Value Compass.

Dominant states versus optimal state. Autotelic: Purpose intrinsic to Self-concept.



Learn to discern. Navigate by what you truly value.

As we train our Awareness, applying the Self-reflection tools we outlined today, considering the human drivers and Consciousness gauges of the most resonant concepts we chose to use, we are faced with options.

Some of these options would lead us back to already travelled roads, routines, others invite Change.


How do we prioritise? How do we know what is the best choice at this time?

Core Values guide us.


When things feel overwhelming, but you want to take at least a moment to make headway, you can ask yourself: "What do I value most at this time?"

This helps add more clarity on what best to invest time, energy and attention into.

We don't have to make "forever choices". We evolve and adapt.


A list of Values to ponder:

/ Which ones are most important at times time? Others you would choose?

Freedom Adventure Courage Balance Leadership Well-Being

Integrity Dignity Compassion Presence Self-empowerment

Fairness Authenticity Inspiration Awareness Independence Growth


Reflect. Sift and sort based on the highest Value to you.

"Which of my Values do I want to express more in my daily choices?

Which of them is neglected right now? How can I amend that?

Are these the Values I like to encourage and most appreciate in others?


As an example, "Self-empowerment" highlights a clear Leadership vantage point: I could have written Empowerment, but I want to represent and encourage everyone to find Empowerment within (Internal Locus of Control). Both being an example of Self-empowerment and to do that through decisions we make and behaviours we exert, matter.

As you re-familiarise yourself with what you value most, you can also ask yourself:

"What do I want to be an example of?"


Simple (not always easy) shifts in choices mean adjustments in our habitual decision-making. We shape our ways of thinking by each of them.

Transcending superficial judgement, emerging intentionality and embracing the ability to relate micro decisions to the Bigger Picture go with our ability to discern well.


Our level of discernment and level of Consciousness go hand in hand.



The stamina we need for Change has both physical and mental aspects.

In all the exercises you have been reading, you can by now starting to recognize patterns.

Which recurring thoughts, related emotions and actions seem to have formed ingrained behaviours, habits in your day-to-day?


We worked predominantly on the mental plane, now we shall review the physical manifestations of anything feeling "off" in your routines.

Your emotions, body signals, energy levels, moods all contain useful information.


When we take a holistic stance, physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, is when we can evaluate information to the fullest.


Allow your Intuition, often the fastest and most accurate way to pick out solutions and provide holistic impressions to nuanced datasets like emotions, to weigh in.

We shall harness the entirety of our abilities and be conscious-intuitive.


Flow is somewhat of a bridge between all these planes.


Truly great habits recharge us, make us feel more empowered, stronger, more apt to face challenges. Discontinuing the ones which don't may prove to be a good challenge in itself.


Habits are not only wired neural pathways, they are essentially a form of Self-expression.

Who we are today shows in what we habitually think, say and do.


We can choose to improve all that which isn't working well today and enhance what is more in alignment with who we want to be and choose time, attention and energy investments which perpetuate sustainable and balanced energy and moods in us.


A successful and rewarding Life Path of high Well-Being requires stamina, resilience and an understanding of the create-recharge cycle, so that we don't burn out, but know to fuel our Flow.


I write in detail about Flow and habits in many of my posts on an ongoing basis. When you decide to deep dive, I recommend : Integrating Flow – increasing our quality of Life and 1/2. Habits for a better Life – how do we change?

What being autotelic means.

In Flow we automatically express our best version of Self authentically. Autotelic means our automatic, subconscious Self-expression.


The word "autotelic" derives from the Greek word autotelēs, formed from autos (Self) and telos (end or goal). This quality suggests an intrinsic drive.


As I started to research how we can do our progress smarter, better, with more ease, I came back to a fundamental book I owned for many years: Mihály Csíkszentmihályi's Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience.

He summed it up like this:


Maslow defined peak experiences as "feelings of limitless horizons opening up to the vision, the feeling of being simultaneously more powerful and also more helpless than one ever was before, the feeling of great ecstasy and wonder and awe, the loss of placing in time and space with, finally, the conviction that something extremely important and valuable had happened, so that the subject is to some extent transformed and strengthened even in his daily life by such experiences."

Describing Self-transcendence that is in its nature: Flow.


I since consumed numerous resources on this topic, experimented, applied, adjusted and tailored many practices regarding how we can induce, maintain and harness Flow in our daily lives. To put theory to practice.


The worthwhile investment on this theme was obvious for me: it is acknowledged as the optimal experience and performance.


The more we have from it, the more able we are to increase our Quality of Life – which is a main pillar of my Life Vision and Work.

I believe we all have the ability to reach and create more of it, when we start practising all of what we have so far talked about: growing Awareness and discerning based on Core Values, choosing Flow-inducing habits.


To what end? Let us look at lifestyle design, the Bigger Picture: our Vision for Life.




Life Visioning

The context for our conscious-intuitive choices.


Life Vision is the context for everything we talked about so far.

We don't make choices in a void. Our choices are part of a Vision we are building every day.

This brings clarity and assuredness in choice-making.


If these two words, Life Vision, feel too grand just now, start simply with:

What kind of an average day you want to have ideally?

Do you want things to flow with more ease?

Next to work do you want to have time with Family and Friends?

How do you want to feel most of the time? Creative, lighthearted, relaxed, confident, phenomenal?


Without going into the "How?" at the start, we can specify quite well the things that actually matter and feel good to us.

Often we get diverted too early from them by trying to figure out (our Analytical Mind in overdrive) how on Earth we are going to achieve that.


A more apt question can prove to be: "Why do I want these?"

You can easily circle back to all the human nature drivers we earlier studied.


Having Faith in yourself and that you deserve what you desire has the spiritual element which will be a highly personal take for us all. A practice nevertheless. To believe in yourself and that you deserve a great Life.


We do have decision and discernment muscles.

It really seems by now a fitting expression to me.

The Compound Effect is real. There were books written about it, but in actuality you can witness it with your own micro adjustments. They add up.



Self-discovery: "What do I want from Life?"

"What is a "better Life" for me?" Questions will pour in, as soon as you pause for re-evaluation. Learning to ask better questions is progress already. They lead to answers that bring you closer to what you envision as better, best, phenomenal. It's up to you how much of what Life can offer you choose to let in.


Vishen Lakhiani's Mindvalley story was a main element of those early days of developmental investments for me. One of the courses I invested into was my 6 weeks Lifebook quest, delivered by a highly successful Entrepreneur couple who lead their Lives by it and can thank their success to it. It was a deep dive into 12 categories of Life.


A holistic view to Life improvements is represented in concepts like Ikigai and the Wheel of Life as well.


We work with Life Vision as a Compass and keep reflecting on our daily choices.

Who shall I be (Character development, Identity),

how shall I think (Self-talk, discernment),

how shall I act (habits, Flow, conscious-intuitive balance)

so that my choices express more of my envisioned Life every day?



With more Consciousness and a deliberate thought process, you gain more clarity on things you truly want, stand for and want to achieve.


I trust that you have found something in today's read that gives you a nudge in the for you right direction and inspires you to start applying some of these practices so that you feel you embody conscious living more so every day.


You know the contact options below, if you want accountability and support in that process in form of Coaching. Otherwise enjoy your Self-discovery and feel free to share what worked best for you!

Tamara






Recommended resources

which helped me in my process of Wayfinding and improvement.

I like to recommend resources that can positively challenge our ways of thinking, even when not fully agreeing with them. There can be value and discovery in differences.

Take what resonates from both my share and the resources I recommend.


A list of concepts that also helped me along the way with Self-discovery, discovering ways of Self-actualization and Life Vision building:

  • Barrett's 7 Levels of Consciousness

  • Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs

  • Hawkins' Consciousness Scale

  • Dilts' Logical Levels of Change

  • Vishen Lakhiani's 3 Most Important Questions

  • Carl Rogers' three elements of Self-concept

  • Emmet Fox' 7 Days Mental Diet

  • Locus of Control (preferably tending towards internal L.o.C.)

  • Wu Wei (cultivated especially in Daoism)

  • Mindfulness (Power of Presence)


I always love to recommend the following books regularly as well they cover most of the recurring elements related to Personal Growth, Flow and the impact of your Mindset.


Stanford psychologist Dr. Carol S. Dweck's work is especially valued in the realm of Mindset work. Her book Mindset: The New Psychology of Success is an essential read and regularly referenced in this topic. Even if you just read a few pages (case studies) of this book, your perspective on what is possible may shift for good.


Stephen R. Covey The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change contains the concept of the Circle of Influence and other fundamental ideas that remain key pillars of Self-development.


Mihály Csíkszentmihályi Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience is all about how your level of Flow can optimally change your Life – what it is, how to access, maintain and increase it. The entire process is permeating my Coaching work and guidance to increase our Quality of Life.


Dr. Joe Dispenza Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself: How to Lose Your Mind and Create a New One is a book about Consciousness, Mind-Body connection and is a scientifically backed up explanation that can convince even otherwise unpacifiable sceptics that we have the ability to change for the better if we really want and decide to. This is a book for our bookshelf to be read and re-read, as we more and more integrate the knowledge we gain from it and start to deeply understand ourselves and human dynamics through it.


H. García and F. Miralles Ikigai: The Japanese Secret to a Long and Happy Life


Eckart Tolle The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment


Shad Helmstetter's What To Say When You Talk To Yourself can be a revelation if you are grappling with destructive Self-talk.


How to Be Your Own Best Friend via Self-Talk (What to say...). In this video Joseph Rodrigues combines these two powerful ideas so we can see how their application benefits us.


And a bonus article I've found recently from a Scotsman Steven Aitchison on 21 Ways to Live a More Conscious Life.




I bring all my learnings into my shares, reflection exercises, Coaching, so that my personal investments and revelations enrich not only my Life, but through my Work all your Lives too.


explore the opportunity of working together

Reach out via message or head straight to the Coaching Session preparation form.

See you there!

T.





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