Adventure turned out to be a Life essence word for me – encapsulating Courage, Empowerment, Joy in Life, Purposefulness, Experiences.
On the other side of that: definitions of safety and comfort zone – and stepping outside of them for a little while or onto a whole new level for good – will look different to all of us.
By no means will we cover all the details of my past years of greatest learnings in this single blog post, but we do go through major themes, in form of reflection questions as well, that we hopefully all can benefit from.
As I look back, these topics are as relevant today as they were then, only in more evolved, finetuned forms now.
What does Adventure mean to you?
I added many visual stimuli: vivid illustrations of my Adventures.
Possibly bringing up your own great memories and adding energy to your current plans.
In the end I add more colour compositions of beautiful Arran, stunning Nature-painted Sky and Sea on my treasured shore walks – with some wildlife.
You will see pictures of myself more than I ever usually display, because I like to focus on the quality of the messages, but next to keeping that as priority I include them also to indicate the exceptionally personal quality of this share.
Plus, going through my photos allowed me to get more into the Flow of what I meant to bring across and focus on the essence of it being valuable as well as relatable for you, dear Reader. Connecting through our personal stories.
Enjoy the visual and written Inspiration as well as your revelations through reflection! T.
chapter Navigation for explorers:
I will elaborate on my takes below and you can ponder yours on these themes.
If you want to jump ahead, simply click the title of a segment.
Not only adapting to circumstance, but shape circumstance so it adapts to our set targets, chosen principles and envisioned state. Growth Mindset. Making the unfamiliar familiar.
Mental, emotional, physical ability to handle adversity. Being on purpose. Decreasing reactivity, increasing Courage and Inner Peace. Transcending fears and doubts (more so). Higher levels of Awareness. An optimised approach to Success.
Habits to increase Quality of Life and form Identity. Conscious language. Autotelic: Self externalized effortlessly, authentically, automatic expression in Flow.
Discern well. Lifelong learning.
Succeeding with who we are and what we have right now. Principles of Minimalism. Decluttering physical-mental-emotional-spiritual spaces. Optimising assumptions and mindset.
Healing, Love and Faith (transcending and including religion based on personal choice) in many forms. Meditation. Mindfulness. Perception.
Holistically high Life Quality, Well-being, Life Vision based on Core Values, Personal Growth, Family, Friendship, learning companions, investing into experiences, contribution and positive Value-footprint. Legacy. Self-actualized. Personal Freedom.
What is Adaptability?
To me in a nutshell: Not only adapting to circumstance, but shape circumstance so it adapts to our set targets, chosen principles and envisioned state. Growth Mindset.
Making the unfamiliar familiar.
What is it for you?
Choosing to uproot your current ways of living, to start anew at a completely different place, independently, by yourself, in an unknown cultural context, provides great proving ground for your levels of Adaptability. (Then do a reverse country move is another great test of the extent of improvement that happened in the meantime.)
When I chose to do all that, as I started packing my boxes for my move from Hungary to Scotland, I haven't yet known:
How much my previous Life experiences of smaller magnitudes, but similar attitudes – like my time living in Germany, Manila, China, personal and work travels – prepared me for this, so it felt doable.
How much more area of Growth there was for me to step out of the many "pockets" of comfort zone (areas we all have in some shape or form).
Where to live is one of those "pockets".
I did smaller trips back and forth between Hungary and Scotland, to explore where exactly I wanted to live, since I had only two impressions through two visits, even if one of them was so impactful, Soul-lighting, Heart-warming in the Highlands that it confirmed what I felt intuitively from the distance: Scotland felt like Home, more than anywhere else on the planet so far.
I also decided to learn how to connect to my Intuition much better, because this was an example where I intuitively knew a year before, just looking at the map, which town I chose, but went around two circles along the West Coast of Scotland, to arrive in exactly that town: Troon.
Practising to understand Intuition became one of the elements of learning in the years that followed.
Family and Friends are another Life segment of highest importance.
Through a long, good Friendship from Scotland I learned to love the land and culture from afar.
I didn't know anyone else really, until I started exploring how I could enhance my Career Life segment – which is a big part of our zone of comfort (many don't like to rattle this one at all, and maybe wait until it rattles them).
I wanted to upgrade my ways of societal contribution somehow and did a lot of brainstorming with myself on work enhancement options. I wanted to find something related to a cause that supports our elderly population in some way. That theme stays close to my Heart.
I researched social enterprises in Scotland and chose to contact the founder of Lingo Flamingo. Their premise is to positively influence the effects of dementia through language learning. The Team gained multiple recognitions in this field.
The founder's parents became the greatest Friends in these past 4 years. Their Friendship, amazing support, fun company, the wonderful dinners and quiz evenings, made my Scotland Chapter lightyears better. Synchronistically they did live in Troon which I found out after I've decided to live there and they were my hosts while I chose a new Home for myself.
Life can be quite miraculous.
As Uncle Albert (if you've seen the movie I.Q., you'll know this expression well) liked to say:
“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." – Albert Einstein
Both my connection to Lingo as a Board Member and the forged Friendships last to this day and enrich my Life.
I want to make sure I validate at this point – even though without pictures to demonstrate despair and doubt – that beyond the smiling, laughing happy, contemplative, peaceful moments, there have been plenty of moments of distress as well; feeling the pressure of the need and desire to succeed.
I'm assuming this need is present, in various proportions, on an ongoing basis for all of us – see Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs and Barrett's 7 Levels of Consciousness.
What I'm describing in all my work, just like in this piece, as I'm aiming to always add Value by sharing: ways that helped me deal with our human condition much better.
So that we are not a victim of the elements of Life, but with increased Awareness we can conscious-intuitively navigate it. Getting better with practice.
Validating, acknowledging when something doesn't work the way I wanted or planned and I feel stressed, even so I'm choosing not to dwell in that disempowered state – only staying in it for the shortest necessary time while the lesson becomes clear, then moving on from it. (Emmet Fox' 7 Days Mental Diet is one of the numerous resources which advocate for this practice as part of our Personal Evolution.)
We are learning not to suppress warning signals of physical, mental, emotional, spiritual imbalance, not give into delusion nor cover up, but also not sink into despair, dogged cynicism nor give up on the chance of better ways of living.
Self-empowerment and better choices perpetuate each other in our Self-discovery. We are essentially getting to know our power: to become more Self-/aware and optimally choose.
Our relationship with Change improves as we learn to discern fears and doubts towards the Unknown.
Friends' and Family's reactions to my endeavours also helped me relate this.
While probably not all or most didn't really understand why or what I am doing when I was in completely unknown territory, their encouragement, wise and appreciative words, or silent/quiet yet steady support have been and continue to be an amazing space to be nourished by. I do my best to pay it forwards in ways I find.
That's the point of Unknown that we dare discovering it, just like pioneering Entrepreneurship: even when we don't know yet how exactly our outcomes will look like, we choose our guiding principles and make the best informed-intuitive decisions we can at any given time.
While Self-empowerment is a big part of our Growth – practising to draw Faith in ourselves from within, minimising attachment to external circumstance (aiming for increased Internal Locus of Control) –, and still, because we are fundamentally social creatures, the support of people who we value and who care about us, our social network, can be an immense positive context in our Lives. Be it Family, Friends, Mentors, peers, like-minded people, any inspiration that gives us a positive boost and helps us through hurdles.
When I faced from them expressed amazement and admiration when I did new things, sometimes all at once – as it happens when you apply Changes to more areas of your Life at the same time (as we do inspired by someone's achievements whether we know them personally or not), it helped me:
see that what I find natural and doable, feels that way, because I reached a stage of comfort zone expansion and confidence that helps me accomplish it
pause and reassess how much I truly valued myself and my achievements, and then integrate more appreciation for what I'm capable of achieving
By the time, for example, I was helping Family with a cross-Europe move and had to drive a 7m long van myself there and back, covering over 2000 kms, it brought up nervousness before the trip, but I knew I could do it. My smaller and same distance cross-Europe trips the years before made the unfamiliar more familiar.
These dynamics of worry and then a sense of accomplishment signify how our comfort zone expands and the practising of a new activity helps conquer our natural fears (survival instincts developed through the course of human evolution) of what is unfamiliar.
As I wrote earlier:
Through understanding how Change works physiologically and learning to interpret our mental-emotional responses better through Self-reflection, we prime ourselves to more easily navigate and lead Change.
Understanding our current state of Self-concept is another major element in our Personal Growth. When we can find true respect for our Self which can help replace any of our current Self-critical (non-constructive) and Self-sabotaging patterns.
Adaptability is as close to Adventure as to Science for me, because it means facing and
embracing uncertainty, leading Change, experimenting with the New.
Adaptability is to me also an expression of Growth Mindset. To see opportunity where many don't. To see learning in what someone else may label as failure or rejection. When we could withdraw and give up, but we choose not to. Instead, we seek a fresh perspective.
It is growing beyond standards and rigid status quo, beyond "how things are usually done".
Not dwelling in stagnant states, staying curious to more, better, how things work and why.
Most often when we deny ourselves that Spirit of Adventure and the greater impact and happiness to go with it, when we stay in a state we don't like and know is not good for us, what holds us back is usually a combination of lack of Awareness and fear of the Unknown and taking risks to discover what it could hold.
The root causes can lead deep into our Self-concept, Self-esteem, Self-image.
How deserving of a great Life do we feel? How worthy and capable do we believe ourselves to be to actually do something about positively shifting our current circumstances? How long are we waiting and why?
When we remain in structures, a habitual way of living that doesn't serve our best interest nor Well-being nor brings out our best personal impact, when we stop seeking out new situations, learning novel things and challenging old paradigms... this same pattern perpetuated for long does not only lead to frustration, unhappiness and a sense of lack of Fulfillment, but also a decrease in visionary capability and Resilience.
I'm very glad and grateful that I had the strength and followed my Inner Compass to get out of my own perpetuated negative Life patterns and dare take the chance of positive Change.
What are you waiting for?
What do you need to move toward your own better version of Life?
What is Resilience?
For me: Mental, emotional, physical ability to handle adversity. Being on purpose. Decreasing reactivity, increasing Courage and Inner Peace. Transcending fears and doubts (more so). Higher levels of Awareness. An optimised approach to Success.
What is it for you?
Embarking at once on many Firsts in both lifestyle and career while healing from grief, was a great big stretch for me. Loads of formal learning (big investments into courses and coaching) and personal lessons in daily Life.
Resilience is a degree to which we are able to cope with challenges in Life and how successfully (wiser, smarter, stronger etc.) we come out the other end of them.
It means exercising our Courage more than we ever usually do; not only in times of safety and sound confidence, but especially when we live through those despairing moments I mentioned earlier. When doubt creeps in and it starts to have a quicksand effect in our decision-making.
Change can be exhausting. Particularly when we haven't trained ourselves yet well in Personal Growth tools and our mental-emotional capacity is still doing its best to live up to the current challenge.
How do we keep going when the "end" is not as calculable?
First off, we practice letting go of any false sense of (or rather clinging onto) safety that we can get through Life on a rail track without bigger diversions – in reactive mode.
Then investing energy and attention to clarify which of our primary Core Values, the experiences and contributions we want to have and make, encompassed in a Life Vision, shall guide our Inner Compass for making choices – these will anchor us even in turbulent times.
Our Life Vision, the detailed goals tied to it, may evolve over time, but its cornerstones are rooted in our sense of Identity that is deeply interconnected with our Core Values and the Character traits we express and aspire towards (Ideal Self).
It felt at first not as scary in the process of moving, but once the settling in started with studying new customs – different administrative tasks with a house than an apartment, different attitudes in neighbourhood, exploring an unknown town that is to become my New Home, and in the meantime understanding how I can upgrade my career to more impact and figuring out in which direction to navigate in terms of learning, connections and opportunities, was at times a little... very daunting.
For me the difference with more Resilience shows in how I respond to new, bigger challenges. It expresses its quality in my balanced mental-emotional state despite the pressure.
How much weight of stress I can carry I evaluate with an honest ongoing internal review.
Acknowledging when I truly need a break or I feel some support from Family, Friends, Mentors would do a great positive difference.
Learning to reach out and accept support was a lesson.
I do not believe that being resilient and accepting support are contradictory.
We do not need to solve all the world's problems, or at least our own, all by ourselves. We are for good reason social creatures.
We can do many things well ourselves and it can be a good challenge to do that, but the quality of experiences I find is infinitely better when we allow others or rather invite the ones who care, to participate in our Growth process.
They will then so much more likely to learn to value reciprocity: receiving our corresponding appreciation. It strengthens our bonding with our fellow humans on various levels.
It also creates a greater variety of learning, as we grow through different perspectives.
Empowering and Self-empowering.
Making Peace with our past versions of Self is what makes our resilient Self reach a new level of stability.
When we keep constantly going back to blaming and shaming ourselves for past events, our Self-image and Self-esteem become way too brittle to withstand longer or bigger pressure. The outcomes on the long-term would not be ideal.
Accepting our current version of Self, becoming our own Best Friend is an idea that helps us steer away from highly ineffective or toxic internal dynamics and focus on best time, energy and attention investments, combined with Self-compassion.
If we are not good friends to ourselves, no amount of friendships with others would mend the damage that we can cause to our Self in our time alone – and in all our inner conversations.
Shad Helmstetter's What To Say When You Talk To Yourself can be a revelation if you are grappling with destructive Self-talk.
Unlike this beautiful driftwood bench who served as a Mediation companion and rest, and was tossed around by the gales on the shore – we can work proactively to increase our Resilience instead of passively building a "thicker skin" while we feel miserable inside.
Resilience shall feel as an empowered state. It is our inner strength. Together with Adaptability, it helps build a better Life.
Internal Locus of Control is a fine balance: evaluating when external circumstance is useful, inspiring and empowering, and when it becomes a harmful negative attachment – while we work on an ongoing basis on our independent evolution as free as possible from these influences.
As we navigate our realisations of what internal and external powers are at work and how we make sense of our position in them, we can gain an improved relationship to Power.
Through this work the results will show internally and externally.
When we learn to transcend fears and not cling onto control so much, when we learn to appreciate that differences are not existential threats in most cases, our external expression of our relationship to Power, in our Leadership will show in more inclusivity, empowerment and understanding.
You can see the opposite of this playing out in autocratic power dynamics where Leaders are consumed most often by fears and reactivity, reaching for tools of oppression and violence to counterbalance internal insecurities. We shall watch out for these in our most minuscule mannerisms.
Through the work mission I chose and leading by example, I'm working on supporting and developing Leadership that represents Growth-focus and dismantle its destructive forms via greater levels of Self-/Awareness.
As the concept of Julian B. Rotter formulates: Locus of Control is the degree to which people believe that they, as opposed to external forces, have control over the outcome of events in their lives.
Questions for our Self-reflection here can be:
What is my ability to cope with uncertainty?
How much can I detach my Self-worth from external circumstance and opinion?
In what ways do I feel I depend on external validation to feel valuable / useful / worthy?
What kind of Self-talk can I practice that strengthens Confidence in myself, regardless of changing circumstances?
How we define Success and how we relate to any perceived failure or rejection, will be largely influenced by our current state of Self-esteem and how much we exercise our Growth Mindset. When we feel down and defeated, to allow that only as a temporary condition, and look to find the valuable lesson (while we are transcending Self-blaming of any form) – as one of my Mentors calls it: use perceived rejection as optimisation data.
You will hear the story from many people who "made it" in the eyes of the world: they kept going even when no one was yet understanding the Value they provided and it felt like marching in utter silence for a while; their perseverance through Resilience helped reach their points of breakthroughs.
Once we decide that our definition of Success is our own, appreciating that it may look individually different to all of us, and that someone else can't decide it for you, your Resilience upgrades to another level. The power is in the practicing of it.
Overall, the positive impact of an increased Resilience in a conscious Life I can describe as: Much better handling of confusion and stress. Minimised to no drifting. No mood swings, better energy distribution. Conscious-intuitive balance. Self-driven motivation. A deep sense of Meaning. Clarity. More Flow.
The period from 2020 March added extra intensity for us all. By that time I felt more mentally-emotionally trained in Resilience. I also saw how the crisis impacted so many.
My response to crisis was obvious proof for me that this inner work investment I did from the end of 2018, made a great positive difference. Very much worthwhile.
Ever since I'm an even more passionate advocate of it. It unceasingly confirms the Value of my choice of work mission every day.
The positive effects increase and last, especially when we commit to maintaining our level of Resilience through optimal habits.
What is conscious living?
For me in short: Habits to increase Quality of Life and form Identity. Conscious language. Autotelic: Self externalized effortlessly, authentically, automatic expression in Flow.
Discern well. Lifelong learning.
What is it for you?
Sometimes when I look at my notes – both paper-based and digital, my bookmarks, organising my favourites folder –, the sheer amount of learning these past years still surprises and amazes me.
The voluntary investment of my time and energy. Intentionally.
This is beyond the type of studying we were used to at school or university.
It is a form of Self-discovery: what do I want from Life? what better ways can I find to reach that? The questions will pour in, as soon as we pause for re-evaluation. Learning to ask better questions is progress already. They lead to answers that bring us closer to what we envision as "better".
I had some tools of course that I learned in business – concepts applied from business books to corporate education curriculum –, there is so much more though.
I opened my Mind to different approaches, I started listening to and read a plethora of entrepreneurial resources, to then fuse it with my personal style of learning and synthesise the best from all combined.
The unorthodox, out-of-the-box, positively disrupting perspective was always much more enticing for me than to simply repeat things, even when they obviously were or have become suboptimal.
Nurturing the spirit of pioneering allows us to not sink into a space of lack of originality and diminished innovation.
What is it that we represent in our everydays? Are we inviting in fresh perspective?
How do we habitually think and act?
Self-reflection is necessary to be able to increase our Self-awareness and Awareness of the world. It needs to become a habit, if we are to find ways to Self-actualize and Self-transcend (the unpublished top part of Maslow's pyramid).
Vishen Lakhiani's Mindvalley story was a main element of those early days of developmental investments. I did courses with them that proved to have good yield. One of them was my 6 weeks Lifebook course, delivered by a highly successful Entrepreneur couple who lead their Lives by it and can thank their success to it.
Just like Lifebook with its 12 categories of Life, a holistic view to Life improvements is represented in concepts like Ikigai and the Wheel of Life as well.
The application of strategic plans to the level of habits in our daily Lives requires quite some stamina.
We essentially take the Life Vision or Big Picture as a compass and keep reflecting on our daily choices: who shall I be (Character development, Identity), how shall I think (Self-talk), how shall I act (habits) so that my choices express more of my envisioned Life every day?
With more Consciousness and a deliberate thought process, you gain more clarity on things you truly want, stand for and want to achieve. Appreciating the power of progress also in the nuanced.
How we verbalise these things will make an enormous difference.
An optimised Self-talk that is empowering will be a great ally, avoiding a detrimental inner tone that can be a form of Self-sabotage.
Once I wrote on this:
The language you use with yourself and in conversations, reveals the landscape of your mindset. At times it will feel empowering and expansive, other times disempowering and contracting.
You can ask yourself: What is the meaning I give to certain words, topics, expressions?
What am I identifying with through them?
The stamina we need for Change has both physical and mental aspects.
When we choose new habits or optimise existing ones, they will have a different Value factor for our Life areas. Some will be so called keystone habits. They have an amplified impact. This can be both negative and positive. Therefore it's key that we revise current habits if we truly want to change our Lives for the better.
Our increasing level of discernment and level of Consciousness go hand in hand.
Walking is for me one of those keystone habits. It not only helped strengthen my physical resilience, but at first implementation it required me to build up more mental resilience to keep going on walks regardless of what external circumstances were (hailstorms excluded). Walking is a sort of Mind-calming and clearing activity for me which I at times combine with Meditation. A more stressful day was an actual motivator that helped me see the immense positive impact of this habit.
Truly great habits recharge us, make us feel more empowered, stronger, more apt to face challenges.
Mental strength is needed when we want to make a habit (Change) stick – until it becomes a natural form of Self-expression as we wire new neural pathways.
That's what habits essentially are: ways of Self-expression.
Who we are today shows in what we habitually think, say and do.
We can choose to improve all that which isn't working well today and enhance what is more in alignment with who we want to be.
Habits, like walking for me, are ideally a source of Flow. Where we have a challenge/skill ratio that keeps us excited (a feeling of progress and Growth) and yet it feels doable (increased Confidence).
In Flow we automatically express our best version of Self authentically. Autotelic means our automatic, subconscious Self-expression.
As I started to research how we can do our progress smarter, better, with more ease, I came back to a fundamental book I owned for many years: Csíkszentmihályi's Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience.
I since consumed many resources on this topic, experimented, applied, adjusted and tailored many practices regarding how we can induce, maintain and harness Flow in our daily lives. To put theory to practice.
The worthwhile investment on this theme was obvious for me: it is acknowledged as the optimal experience and performance.
The more we have from it, the more able we are to increase our Quality of Life – which is a main pillar of my Life Vision and my work.
I write in detail about Flow and habits in many of my posts on an ongoing basis. If you care to read more in that direction just now, I recommend my following blog posts: Integrating Flow – increasing our quality of Life and 1/2. Habits for a better Life – how do we change? (a two-parter)
Here are the most often walked paths across the golf course. At times I kept my walks to the winding greens, more often I crossed them to get through to the shore. The wonderful long days allowed for varied timings.
What is Resourcefulness?
For me it means: Succeeding with who we are and what we have right now. Principles of Minimalism. Decluttering physical-mental-emotional-spiritual spaces. Optimising assumptions and mindset.
What is it for you?
Resourcefulness is an approach through question instead of statements for me. (We do that in Coaching, Self-coaching and in this blog post. I know you noticed. ;))
While Resilience may have a sort of "grinding teeth and we get through" feeling to it at times in our interpretations, Resourcefulness creates more of a brave yet light-hearted atmosphere.
Closer to Flow.
Transcending desperation.
Expanding to greater Creativity.
Upholding Curiosity. Novel information lead to new ideas, new perspectives.
Daring #positivedisruption and Innovation.
Challenging the current "impossible". Learning to read it as "I'm possible".
Leading with questions.
Finding more original and authentic solutions. Pioneering.
Reframing what didn't go according to initial plan as learning.
Prioritising helpful principles and mindsets like: "practice makes progress" and "progress over perfection" and that "there are infinite ways to Success".
Pruning unnecessary complexities.
Growth Mindset is also at works in it, naturally: turning obstacles into opportunities.
Learning to transmute stress, fears, doubts into opportunity and Faith in Self.
In "tight corner" situations, pause your habitual response.
Allow your Resourcefulness some space to invent better solutions.
You can see that although I created segments around greater qualities, they all are interwoven in a high quality Life and Personal Evolution.
As we hone our Character, in the process of learning concepts can provide reference points we can utilise.
I discovered for myself for example that the main principles of Minimalism didn't only help me with preparing for my move by decluttering physical space, but that this at times misunderstood or undervalued concept is guidance to more intentional living. I watched and read many resources from which I've learned and which speak of this same revelation.
This is a summary of how I understand its main principles today:
Our choices shall contribute to our Well-being.
Be intentional. Set priorities. Know the primary purpose of your choices.
Simplify. Declutter. Release unnecessary stuff.
Remove distractions. Improve focus.
Make timeless, functional choices.
Money to be understood as means to an end, not the end.
Quality over quantity (most of the time).
Make choices that are (seem today) better for people and planet.
At first, when we are starting out expanding our comfort zone gradually, both our Resourcefulness and Resilience may feel like a suit a size too small and even if we probably feel contracted with fists in the air, we march on.
My Resourcefulness got very well tested in my process of moving in and creating a Home. The planning, organising, coordinating. Assembling and disassembling furniture. Taking lessons to practice driving on the left. Finding solutions for temporary times while keeping not only my sanity in them, but the quality of the experience in focus.
Building new local and global social networks online and offline.
Accumulating learning, honing mindset as I was bridging my corporate business knowledge to a whole different way of approaching business: Entrepreneurship. Learning about the mindset surrounding it, the deeper meaning of Value-creation and the connection between providing a service as a channel of Abundance and working purposefully in the everydays as part of Self-actualization.
Next to that there was a lot of interesting and useful detail to learn on website creation, design, building an audience, conversational sales, finetuning service to fit best both skill and audience need, content creation, social media presence, collaborations, Self-publishing and more.
Complexity trains us to utilise our discernment muscles more so. Resourcefulness helps find better time-energy-attention investments with higher yield and less waste of any kind.
We work with the Present Moment, to stabilise the context of our decision-making, stripping away unnecessary doubt and confusion.
To be present, curiously, is something we need to practice as a habit in our fast-paced digital age, if we are to enjoy our Life and reach higher levels of Well-being.
What is Gratitude?
For me in essence: Healing, Love and Faith (transcending and including religion based on our personal choice) in many forms. Meditation. Mindfulness. Perception.
What is it for you?
Being present, with our attention in the Now, we are much better able to recognize what we have and find our ways to Gratitude for what is.
When you are going through rough times, when you are grieving, when you feel negativity, anger and frustration suck away your Life energy, Gratitude is a practice that can help heal unhealthy patterns.
There are studies that show that Gratitude coupled with Forgiveness have an immense immediate effect on our Brain. They have the ability to change brainwaves. The result is generally a calming effect and more positive outlook among other improvements.
A regular Gratitude can magnify our Resilience as well.
On the long-term, it shapes our approach to Life, upleveling our mindset.
You can keep it simple and think of even just one thing you are grateful for, or couple it with journaling or have it as part of your Meditation.
In Dr. Joe Dispenza's work Meditation is emphasized and utilised as the main tool to achieve a state of receptivity to Change. An essential daily Awareness practice goes along with that.
You learn to fill your own cup and what kind of implications it has when you don't.
The destruction it caused so far, the optimisation opportunities and choosing your non-negotiables.
Whenever we disrespect our need for replenishment and recharging, it will show.
Gratitude was a key element in my healing process from grief and it has become part of my Being by now. So, although I don't necessarily need to remind myself daily to be grateful, it does give extra depth (and energy) when I choose it to be in focus for mindful pauses throughout the day or in Meditation.
Gratitude is also a very helpful close to immediate impact tool for more extreme levels of stress. It helps to ground our energy and shift perception.
This perception shift can be far-reaching.
When you thought of what you are grateful for as you read the previous paragraphs, did you think in "things" only?
From our often very material social conditioning where we measure progress in tangible outcomes and if we can't see it or touch it, we may forget to tie Gratitude to those things that we maybe take for granted, are intangible, but which in the end can turn out to be to truly matter in Life. They add quality to the fabric of our Lives.
When we learn to integrate this perspective, our perception of Life will have an added, elevated viewpoint. As we plan our concrete and very much tangible goals, we will be able to hold at the same time the position: how does this add Value to the intangible priorities of my Life? Are my, goals in line with what I find important in terms of relationships, service, legacy and Self-actualization?
Before we progress to the last segment of this post, I share illustrations of my contemplation and Meditation times on that great driftwood bench through the Seasons. Winter-summer gear were at times close (the perks of oceanic climate :D), but there were some days for jacket and shorts - our most favourite local streetwear whenever we can help it. Otherwise it's a combinations of various jackets, scarves, hats (the funny Hungarian winter hat I wore only once - a bit warm for here, except when a gale sweeps the beach), sketchers and boots.
And pebbles. Many maaaaany pebbles. Some I took back to Hungary with me. I find them wonderful for mindful moments, to ground and be present (sensory inputs support our "getting present" mindful practice, for me textures especially and breathwork of course).
My Scottish Friends were lovely and took most of them in - I adored their garden with them before my this year's country move. I'll be back to visit them. All of them. :)
What matters most?
To me in simple words: holistically high Life Quality, Well-being, Life Vision based on Core Values, Personal Growth, Family, Friendship, learning companions, investing into experiences, contribution and positive Value-footprint. Legacy. Self-actualized. Personal Freedom.
What is it for you?
Life Vision or lifestyle design is a way of exercising Consciousness. I recall that living more consciously was one of the first resolutions I made when starting out to create this New Chapter. How it can serve as the best compass for decisions.
Asking questions like "What is the highest form I can serve the world in that's also fulfilling for me and takes care of my Quality of Life in all areas?"
While I understand that many of us wait until the realisation is really painful and it can involve a lot of dismantling before we build a New Chapter, it will be worthwhile to proactively seek positive Change.
As Tim Ferriss says: "Don’t save it all for the end. There is every reason not to."
The decision however is always ours. Noone can make it for us.
You will know best what matters most for you. At this time.
Then allow your answers to evolve together with you.
Since I crystallised Leadership Development as my personal work mission and you identify with being a Leader whether in a formal position or your personal Life, you may resonate with how I formulated a revelation:
All that you learn about yourself you can utilise in your Leadership to better understand, more wisely influence and empower the ones who turn to you for Inspiration and take example of you.
Finally, here are the promised illustrations of those shore walks that have become an integral part of me. For me they represent a quality of Life that I am forever grateful for and that aim to keep as part of my Life on the long-term.
I trust that any part of this share helps you in your navigation of Self-discovery and building, incorporating Life-improving practices.
Enjoy the Journey!
Recommended Resources
which helped me in my process of Wayfinding and improvement
H. García and F. Miralles Ikigai: The Japanese Secret to a Long and Happy Life
Mihály Csíkszentmihályi Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience
Stephen R. CoveyThe 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change
Dr. Joe Dispenza Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself: How to Lose Your Mind and Create a New One
Eckart Tolle The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment
The Lifebook concept by Jon and Missy Butcher is currently still available within the Mindvalley resources as a 6-week course. I've done mine in 2019 (+ the Mastery course that focuses on implementation of the Lifebook goals and related habits) and found it a worthwhile investment — no affiliation, simply sharing what's worked well for me and I share here resources I trust enough (and the results they helped me produce) to recommend them.
It's basically a comprehensive process where you look at 12 dimensions of Life: Health & Fitness, Intellectual, Spiritual, Character, Emotional, Love, Parenting, Social, Financial, Career, Quality of Life, Life Vision. From visionary to practical perspective.
Asking yourself 4 simple yet fundamental questions structuring around Premise-Vision-Purpose-Strategy for each and every one, you gain answers on what matters to you most in these areas.
This process exists in many shapes and forms (such as Ikigai or Wheel of Life) and this one tends to be a good deep-dive.
Joseph Rodrigues has been a Mentor and Inspiration on Entrepreneurship, conscious and Flow-based living through content, coaching and online live events.
He made many useful videos about some of the below concepts, for example Robert Dilts Logical Levels of Change as well as Shad Helmstetter's book What to Say When You Talk to Your Self and Tim Ferriss' The 4-Hour Workweek.
Example study on the health benefits of Gratitude Study: Gratitude is a healthy attitude - News on Heart.org
A list of concepts that also helped me along the way with Self-discovery, discovering ways of Self-actualization and Life Vision building:
Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs
Dilts' Logical Levels of Change
Hawkins' Consciousness Scale
Barrett's 7 Levels of Consciousness
Carl Rogers' three elements of Self-concept
Locus of Control (preferably tending towards internal L.o.C.)
Emmet Fox' 7 Days Mental Diet
Vishen Lakhiani's 3 Most Important Questions
Wu Wei (cultivated especially in Daoism)
Mindfulness (Power of Presence)
Meditation and Mindfulness as practice and habit have many shapes and forms. I tried a great variety of them. Vishen Lakhiani's 6 Phase Meditation started me on my Meditation practice.
My favourites, most impactful and unique ones: Jeffrey Allen, Dr. Joe Dispenza, Bob Proctor, Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche and more.
I like also the ones where Mediation is combined with ASMR. It greatly relaxes the Brain into Alpha.
Dr. Joe Dispenza's work, based on neuroscientific research combined with epigenetics and psychoneuroimmunology, thousands of case studies, brain scans, live events, on how Meditation can change your Life is slowly but surely recognized as ground-breaking and revolutionary for our medical paradigms. If any of us is highly analytical, his explanations help overcome our mental barriers to have a better Life.
All the mentioned resources here have the capacity to help you with that.
I bring all my learnings into my shares, reflection exercises, Coaching,
so that my personal investments and revelations enrich not only my Life, but through my Work all your Lives too.
To explore the opportunity of working together
Reach out via message or head straight to the Coaching Session preparation form. See you there!
T.
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